The world is one big bLuR....

Chit-chatting with Karen Koh and Wm about marathoning has brought back memories of how much I've enjoyed the lead-up to my first marathon last year during Sundown Marathon 2008. I've enjoyed the days of living to train for the marathon, seeing myself getting better as the days go by, taking into account everything from nutrition, training and rest. I love the planning and preparation. I love the self-instilled discipline as I control my food, rest times and training. All with the one goal in mind; marathon day.

But somehow, I seem to be lacking this one goal in my life. Instead of a disciplined approach to daily life, I'm living everyday as it comes. There's no clear "marathon day", the "goal", in my life. There's no direction in which I can clearly plan my life towards, no clear future for me, in fact, I can't really imagine the state of meself anytime in the future. And this really is causing some deep distress, headaches, confusion, in me. How? What to do? How to define this goal? Who can help me with this? God? My mum? Friends? Myself? For now, I can only just keep throdding on forwards, till when it starts to become clear to me~